Discrimination: our biggest struggle

All the recent attacks on Islam has really angered me but the thing that angers me even more than the attacks is the silence from heads of states and people in leadership worldwide. 

Of course there are some organisations and governments that have spoken up and they can be applauded but what the hell Is going on? Islam has become the free for all attack religion and there are still some people who believe the ‘propaganda news’ that American and other news agencies are spewing. What happened to tolerance? Whether you believe in a God or not we should all be respecting each other instead of cultivating prejudice and hatred. 

My parents placed me in a church primary school, and Islamic high school from grade 8 to grade 10 and a Jewish school from grade 11 to grade 12. I would like to think their motivation was to build tolerance because that is what it did. 

Religion, race and culture should never be grounds to discriminate because ultimately we are all human and placed in this world to coexist and care for one another. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of a way I can make a change and felt that for now i will be doing my best to rear my kids with as little to no prejudices as possible. This shit has to stop and hopefully the next generation will see the errors of their parents and not repeat it.

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A crappy situation

Back to the topic of motherhood.I apologise in advance, this is a gross one.

I’ve been knee deep in poo lately and I’m sad to say that I mean this in the literal sense. 

We recently took our kids to newlands baths and they were having a fantastic time. Then the little one runs in the jungle gyms direction and I follow him. He climbs up to the lookout post and once he gets there he slips and falls. He stands up and tells me kaka whilst rubbing his leg. To my dismay another child took a crap on the jungle gym and my son was lucky enough to slip in all that ish!

The first thing I did was choke back getting sick then I lifted him by his clean shoulders held him a distance from me and ran to the toilets. My cousin frantically pulled out wet wipe after wet wipe to try and clean him as best we could but the stench remained so I took him to the basin and covered his body in hand wash and rinsed him off.After successfully cleaning him I had had enough and just wanted to leave. 

We finally got to our home and I thought, finally, I can take a load off. I sit down and the same child parades past me holding his nappy in his hand. At first I thought, awe so cute then realised something is not right. On closer examination I realised he had made a number two and took the initiative to remove his nappy. Off to the bath and once again he was lathered up hand shower furiously erasing all trace of excrement.

After that I refused to exhale and relax because the minute I do that fate sneaks in and hands me another surprise. I’ve realised it’s best to just tread carefully and be prepared for anything. 

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Crime: The order of the day

Ok so it’s been a while since my last blog but, I have to admit I’ve been experiencing writers block.

The reason for this, is that I’m not used to choosing my own topics to write about. I’m a journalist who’s been on a break from covering news since I had my kids. In the past my topics were pre determined by the crime that took place in the areas I covered. 

I wrote a few blogs but never posted them because they were just way too much about me and I just didn’t find it interesting enough to share with my readers. 

One thing I’ve been dying to bring up though is this story about a 60 something granny who whilst travelling home in a taxi was robbed then thrown out of it while it was moving. Come on! Really?!?! 
What kind of a person do you have to be to have the ability to do that to a senior. The woman was badly injured since she landed on her face.

This is just one of the hundreds of crime stories that shows that the quality of life in Cape Town has drastically decreased. In all honesty the only thing still keeping me in SA is my family. The allure of the table mountain, the sunny beaches and colourful klopse ain’t worth the crime that we are faced with on a regular basis.

Anyway, I hope that something can be done about crime soon or else immigrating will be the order of the day for all who can afford it.

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Greener pastures

The grass is always greener on the other side. That is the way i used to live my life.

If I zoom in on every period of my life there has always been the next thing that I was looking forward to. For instance, when I was a little girl I wanted to be in ‘big school’, then I wanted university, then marriage, when I was married I wanted kids and now that I have kids I keep looking forward to when they’re a bit older. It’s not that I’m an ungrateful person, i’m just a restless and impatient person by nature.

Then I had a chat with my granny and she told me that these are the best days of my life and that I should not take them for granted. This made me realise that I’m always yearning for the next best thing without truly appreciating what I have right now.

My granny told me that before you know it your kids will be grown up and they won’t have much time for you anymore. My gran is 88 years old, blind, has parkinsons, arthritis and due to a recent fall spends most of her time in a wheelchair reminiscing about the past. This was a wake up call like no other. Was I wishing away the best years of my life?

She explained that all one really wants is to be needed and loved and that children love and need unconditionally. It’s amazing how these words of wisdom changed my perspective of my life. I really don’t want to wake up one day only to find that I took the best years of my life for granted.

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A narcissistic view

Life can be tough, just dealing with everyday normal shizniz can bog one down but I’ve been talking to some people who deal with partners who are narcissistic and suffer from borderline personality disorder and wow, I thought motherhood was tough.

Living with someone who needs to berate you in order for them to feel good about themselves is just wrong but it’s an actual disease. So, is the ill person to blame or should the significant other be blamed for sticking around and waiting for the next verbal blow to come. I’m really not sure.

I’ve been grappling with this question all day because in the past it was all black and white for me. “If you’re being abused physically, verbally or mentally then get the hell out.” Or stay in the relationship and stop complaining. But what about the, “through sickness and health” bit? I suppose as I get older I get softer and the lines get blurred and you really are faced with different shades of grey.

The thing is, these abusive people don’t always start off that way. A trauma usually triggers it and then they need help, professionally and personally but at what expense?

I have no answers, just putting my thoughts out there. But I do hope that when things get dangerous the other person in the relationship will be strong enough to just get out.

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The pursuit of happiness

As this year draws to a close, so too I’m working towards a resolution of eradicating the crazy and embracing the peace.

This year has been particularly difficult for me, aside from our house being invaded by thugs and being held down with guns, my boys were sick a lot and these things can really take its toll on a person. I often find myself rushing from one manic chore/duty to the next and then when the day ends I’m completely knackered but something happened this weekend.

I was sitting on the beech with my kids and suddenly i stopped and noticed the waves, I smelt the salty air and noticed that my children were having fun. I realised that I hadn’t done this in ages and almost forgot what peace and contentment felt like. It was amazing. After about five minutes my kids started fighting and it was all over. It had been so long since I last felt like that and the reminder I experienced made me come to the realisation that I desperately need some peace and will be making a concerted effort for it.

So here’s to a year of happiness, laughter and just appreciating the little things.

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The Workout

After having two kids I’ve really become twice the woman I was before, like literally, I used to weigh 48kg now i weigh a staggering 71kg, extreme I know.So I’ve decided that gymming and a healthier diet is the road to getting a bit of that fabulousness that I used to have back.

Whilst driving my older son asks me why I’m going to gym and I say to get fit. This question is followed by another; why you want to get fit mummy and I realise that if I didn’t simplify it for him the questions would be endless, so I tell him, ” mummy’s bum is big and going to gym will make it smaller.” This answer satisfies him and we continue driving.

I make my way to the gym, two munchkins in tow, of course. I stop at the mall, place my heavy gym bag over my shoulders and untie the car seats. I grab their gym daycare bags, hold the older sons hand and carry the baby.

As I walk through the mall I get a mixture of sympathetic and admirable looks but decide to hold on to the admirable looks for inspiration. We go one floor up and we have made it. By now i feel like I’ve got my cardio workout under the belt, despite the perspiration I venture on. I arrive at the daycare and settle the boys in front of dora the explorer.

As I leave the daycare the little one decides to cry for mummy so I turned back and tried consoling him. When that didn’t work I tried putting him to sleep.Fastforward an hour later and I’m still at the gyms daycare bouncing around trying to get my baby asleep. He relaxes and I give him to the carer and like a thief in the night, run for the treadmills.I was running for about 5 minutes when I heard the dreadful announcement, “Mrs Rohan could you please report to reception.”I drag my feet to the daycare where I find an exhausted and flustered carer. She says that she really tried and that he was making all the other kids cry.I claimed defeat and walked back to my car.

My bigger son then turns to look at me and asks, “mummy is your bum smaller now,” I had to laugh.

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